THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

There was a man walking on the beach who looked up and saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He was awestruck, captured, stunned by her beauty. He could do nothing but forget everything and follow her. He was so intrigued by her beauty that he followed her for hours on the beach.

For a long time she did not notice him following, but eventually the beautiful woman turned around and asked the man who he was, and why he was following her.

The man explained that he was so captured by her beauty, that he had never seen any woman as beautiful as she was, that he could not help but to follow her, that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and would she be his.

The woman replied, "I am very flattered at such a compliment, but surely this cannot be true, for if you had turned to look behind you, you would have seen my sister who has been following you, and she is ten times more beautiful than me."

The man turned to look, and saw a homely looking girl behind him. He turned to the other woman and said, "I'm confused, your sister is not more beautiful than you. Why would you tell me that ? You lied to me."

The woman looked at him and said, "And you lied also, for you turned your head."

SALARY INCREASE

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon

Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

WRONG E-MAIL

It's wise to remember how easily email -- this wonderful technology -- can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Read this short funny story:

An Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

AD IN THE PAPER

The local newspaper funeral notice telephone operator received a phone call. A woman on the other end asked, "How much do funeral notices cost?"

"$5.00 per word, Ma'am," came the response.

"Good, do you have a paper and pencil handy?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"OK, write this: 'Fred dead.'"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am; I forgot to tell you there's a five-word minimum."

"Hmmph," came the reply, "You certainly did forget to tell me that." A moment of silence. "Got your pencil and paper?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"OK, print this: 'Fred dead, Cadillac for sale.' "

THAT's LIFE

God created the donkey and said to him. "You will be a donkey. You will work untiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered: "I will be a donkey, but to live 50years is much. Give me only 20years"
God granted his wish.

God created the dog and said to him: "You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years. You will be a dog. "
The dog answered: "Sir, to live 30years is too much,give me only15 years." God granted his wish.

God created the monkey and said to him: "You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years."
The monkey answered: "To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.

Finally God created man...and said to him: "You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30years that the donkey refused, the 15years that the dog did not want and the 10years the monkey refused."
God granted man's wish...

And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That's Life.